Less Alpha. More Beta Mom.

Okay, readers! Here is a sneak preview of what you will read in Coast Kids winter issue! Couldn't hold off on "publishing" this column til then. Enjoy!


Here I was, feeling all smug. Thus far in my life, I had avoided labels. In high school, I was not a dork, but not a soc (pronounced “sew-sh” for those not reared in the OC). In college, I was not a Greek, but not a geek either. In Corporate America, I dodged the “woman in a man’s world” persona by about a half a generation (and by never wearing one of those lame silk neck bows).

Despite my two kids and house in the suburbs, I could never be classified as a soccer mom. I do coach my six-year-old’s soccer team, but I also have two jobs (as a full-time PR/marketing consultant and editor of this magazine), volunteer at my daughters’ school, write a blog, run a household, care for a menagerie (three dogs, two cats, two fish, a frog), exercise, keep myself looking somewhat presentable, and – most importantly – maintain wonderful relationships with my kids, husband and friends.

Then it hits me. There is a moniker for me - aside from the one my parents put on my birth certificate. I’ve become what Madison Avenue dubs an “Alpha Mom.” The busy mom who juggles it all: Work, kids, life. The one who knows about the latest everything and anything. The go-to-gal when you need to know about the place to get this or that. And the one – if I’m to believe the real-life Alpha Mom examples being trotted out by New York Magazine, USA Today, Ad Age and ABC News – might need to have her head examined. So, in the spirit of posing some tough, reflective questions to my increasingly graying matter…

A question I’m often asked by other moms: “How do you do it all?”

A question I ask myself everyday: “Why do you do it all?”

Good questions, both.

The first query is easy to answer. Let’s call it functional mania. An inability to sit still. Generalized anxiety disorder. Whatever. I’m far from alone in the “moms doing it all” category. Just check out Anita Renfroe’s “Mom Song” on YouTube.com – the one where she condenses a day full “mom speak” into two minutes, 55 seconds, set to the William Tell Overture. ‘Nuff said.

The second question is the proverbial $64,000 one (or let’s say $1 million, adjusting for inflation). What is it that I’m trying to prove, exactly? And just who am I proving it to? How much do I have invested in being an “Alpha Mom?” Am I trying to show other moms up? Am I trying to model the ability to have a career and family to my daughters? Am I applying for a third job as a martyr? (There’s no St. Carrie yet, is there?) I have a sneaking suspicion that I will not like the answers to some – if not most – of the aforementioned questions.

Which means it’s time for a change – time for me to shed this “Alpha Mom” skin. I’ll consider it, in tech parlance, a “Beta Test.” I will transform into a Mo’ Beta Mom (nod to Spike Lee) who is more relaxed, who lives more in the moment, who doesn’t have to do – or have – it all.

Hey - do you think I’m the first mom on the block to make her New Year’s resolution?