Mama Mia!

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Do Than Hear the Words
"Mama? Mama? MAMA!" One More Time Tonight...

1. Watch my Tivo'ed episode of The Hills...again. I can never get enough of that Max Headroom-Meets-Robocop looking creepizoid Spencer weaving his spells of stupidity and snarkiness. Not to mention the fab outfits that LC and Whitney put together (they've gotta be stealing from the market editor's/stylist's closet). And let's not forget the major bagger that is Teen Vogue West Coast Editor Lisa Love, who makes me feel thankful it's not too late for me to apply BOTOX to my grill.

2. Eat yet another 100 Calorie Pack of Chips Ahoy Crisps! (Question - would it be more enviro-nice of me to just go ahead and buy a huge bag of Chips Ahoy, rather than to eat the entire box of individually wrapped "crisps" in one sitting? Something to consider.)

3. Visit my high school reunion's blog and see that the hottest guy from the Class of '87 has posted a lengthy entry enumerating my many virtues and killer qualities (If it's in poetry form, all the better - I loves me a dude who can write in iambic pentameter).

4. Visit my high school reunion's photo gallery and see that someone has (mercifully) removed the series of action shots chronicling my reenactment of Club 54 at the Balboa Pavilion.

5. Watch my Tivo'ed episode of Newport Harbor again. Because there's something comforting in knowing that everybody that grows up in these 'posh' OC enclaves gets a little f'ed up and it's not just me!

6. Peruse the Martha Stewart Living Halloween special edition mag for the tenth time, trying to discern which of the projects is the lowest effort/highest bang for the mom-is-so-crafty-and-doting buck (and, of course, which project I can actually figure out how to do).

7. Skim the $13 copy of a British parenting mag I bought in the Bay Area this weekend and steal ideas for the next issue of Coast Kids. (While simultaneously wishing I were hip enough to be a Brit - and I'm not talking about that train wreck Ms. Spears.)

8. Go to perezhilton.com and laugh at the lame-ass pics of Janice Dickinson staging a photo op for paparazzi at Gianni Versace's former Miami manse. Then, check out pic of B.S. (that's Britney Spears, again) and kids in her car - that she is driving illegally. The poor tots are holding onto each other for dear life! At least she has them in the back seat this time.

9. Reminisce about my daughter's first cotillion yesterday, where, among the darling kids and charming-yet-campy-meets-chivalry-and-the-cha-cha atmosphere, I was given the opportunity to finally solve the mystery of where ex-pageant contestants go to find gainful employment.

10. Fantasize about a world where I wouldn't have to get up and make school snacks and lunches in the morning - and where I'd have enough energy left at night to avoid snapping at my darling daughters for asking me for one more...book, hug, kiss, tuck-in, glass of water, check-on, stuffed animal, light dimmed...is that so wrong?

Gotta go - I hear a "Mama!" emanating from the general direction of the kids' rooms - and you can bet it's not ABBA.