It’s 5pm. My 20-year high school reunion is three hours away and I’m sitting in a stylist’s chair, considering my 38-year-old self in the mirror. Yes, I could lose 10 pounds. Yes, the Botox could’ve been refreshed for tonight’s festivities. But hey, I've got two kids, two jobs, and two hours to get this party STARTED.
“My hair has to ‘talk’ tonight, Neil. It’s got to say ‘Can you believe how sexy this smart girl is now? How could we have overlooked her innate coolness and unique hotness?’ It’s got to be the ultimate Revenge of the Almost-Nerds style statement.”
Can hair do that? Maybe not, but let me tell you it helps.
So, armed with the aforementioned kick-ass ‘do, a flattering Diane von Furstenberg wrap (thank God for DvF!), four-inch Manolos, a pre-party V&T and my hot, successful husband (yes, nice girls do, eventually, get the guy), I was ready to go into battle, as it were.
Without getting too far ahead of myself, I will tell you that – in hindsight – prepping for the reunion was kind of like a Cold War arms race - I was glad that I’d loaded up on ammo, but relieved that I didn’t have to use it.
I have to thank the Fairy Godmother of Good Girls for her brilliant opening salvo. At the risk of sounding like a Bad Girl (or worse) standing in the entry line behind one of the meanest and most popular (never got why those two things were directly correlated in high school) girls from the Class of ’87 – and seeing that she had been visited by her own fairy of sorts (or maybe it was the Karma Chameleon?) - One who had left her looking just shy of 50 and obviously seriously bummed out – was deeply satisfying.
I know, I know, that wasn't nice - but who among us hasn't indulged in a little hateration in this type of situation? You know who (all of) you are!
So......without waxing too verbose here, I will say that everything your mother, aunt, grandmother, older cousin told you about the high school time machine is true. Excusing the (very broad) generalization, the bitchy mean girls and their male counterparts emerge from the 20-year trip looking older, less attractive, and unhappy. The good girls and guys - the bright ones who were (gasp!) nice to the other kids, minded their own business, didn't indulge in the straight-outta-Heathers behavior - are the ones - 20 years later - who have their lives together, with successful careers, accomplished and supportive partners, strong families. And, by the by, they are the ones that look HOT and could - if they wanted to - hook up with anyone in that room. So there. That's the ultimate Revenge of the Nerds. They may wait a bit longer, but nice guys and girls do finish...FIRST.
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2 comments:
So true!! I too just had my 20 year class reunion. I spent the morning getting my hair styled and came home to "Where were you?" Nobody in my family seemed to noticed the mega-hot-hair-do!!! Anyway, of course I was nervous entering the room because I had added the Freshman 10 as well as the never been able to lose baby fat from the 2 kids. To my surprise I actually looked GREAT!!! Happy, healthy, skinny (compared to most of the girls and guys) and not divorced! Granted I graduated from a school in the IE or 909 (by the way, it was 714 when I was living there), but at least I got out. I wound up having a fabulous (HSM2) time but certainly didn't mind leaving my past behind.
Thank you for logging in with a little of the sisterhood vibe! I love hearing high school reunion stories and hope more people will leave theirs. You look fabulous, darling!
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